--Hillary had just returned from a three week trip without Bill

"Were you blue while I was gone?" she asked. "Yes" replied Bill, "but you need to work on your grammar - it's 'blown' not 'blew'!"

--Comedian John Cleese offers three reasons why Britain is superior to America:

1 The people speak English.
2 When they host a world championship, they invite other countries.
3 Visitors to the head of state are expected to go down on only one knee.

--Monica Tongue Twister:

Which wiggly wenches' slippery slit's sheathed cheating Slick Willy's wee, wistful weenie lately?

--Bill was out for his morning waddle

when he turned the corner and two ladies available for commercial appointment (hookers) approached him.

"Hi, big guy! Wanna have a good time for $50 bucks?" one asked him.

"Young lady," Clinton replied. You are addressing the the President of the Uinted States of America, the leader of the most powerful nation in the free world ! A successor to George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt" Bill said with authority. "And I've never paid more than $10 for it in my life."

The next morning Hillary decided to accompany Bill on his waddle. The President was relaxed until they approached the corner where the hookers had been. Clinton was concerned that they would proposition him again with the First Lady at his side.

Sure enough, his greatest nightmare occurred. The same two girls started to approach him again.... then looked at Hillary.... then looked at each other.... then the cuter one said with a smile:

"See what you get for 10 bucks, Mr. President ?"

--What's Monica going to title her memoirs?

"How to suckseed in the Oval Office without really trying!"

--When asked what was the difference between a night of bowling and a night with Hillary the president replied,